Intro

1:39am. I close my eyes and think about my day. The only thing that seems to cross my mind is how much I want to be with "him" and how much I wish "the one" I am with was "him". The only way for me to get this off my chest and stop letting is stress me is to blog it.

I'm 19 years old, freshly, and my last "relationship" ended in December, He cheated. I never had strong feelings for him so it only hurt because I thought that I was the greatest thing, guess not.

Let's Get To Know The Guys

Larry*
Well I met him over the net to start with. That was in like 2003. I thought he was really cute and we started talking. It never got anywhere until recently. We got back in touch over Myspace in the summer of 2006 and jumped right into a relationship (I must have been bored). I knew he was a male whore but I didn't really have intentions on having sex with him seeing that I was (or still am??) a virgin at the time. For some reason I couldn't kiss him (virgin lips also). We went through alot because alot of my friends know and HATE him but we stuck through it. He was the biggest freak! Sex addict! and here I am little miss Virgin Mary. He cheated I found out over Facebook and I broke up with him. Now he's engaged and under aged (Better her that me! :) !!)

Happy*
I met him while I was dating Larry. It was just one of those summer nights. I was hanging out with his friends and he liked me. I gave him my number and from then on we have been together (not in a relationship). Its been over a year now and I have strong feelings for him but something is missing. Plus he's a rebel without a cause. Can you say GANGSTA?? My parents would just die. He is the only guy I feel that I can trust (and I have HUGH trust issues).

Anthony*
I've know this guy since elementary school. He has been through alot and I care about him. He keeps me laughing but I don't feel I can trust him at all. He's immature, (huge turn-off) but for some reason I can' t leave him alone but since today my feelings for him is at an all time low low. He will probably do anything for me but he surrounds himself with prostitutes literally and he feels that most girls are whores (maybe that's why he's so attached to me because I'm not). Oh yea he is like best friends with Happy and that SUCKS!


Since 2007 started I've been through hell. There are soooooo many other guys and love mistakes its almost unbelievable. My life is a love song rather is a good in love forever song or cry for days eating gallons of ice cream love songs.



*Names have been changed