Just last year this day in the morning I was lying in Eric's bed as he thrusted uncontrolably inbetween my legs.....I was in lust with him.....savoring every moment...I tasted his skin he tasted mines...I tasted his mouth he tasted mine...I like kissing him....at times I cring at the thought of him inside me because I know he loved her the way he loved me that night...a whole year...why does it feel like 2 why do I lie and say its been 2.....I want 2 see him...I'm clean but its funny how I ended up wearing the same underwear this morning as a wore last year...my thoughts are still as impure as ever but who's next...who will I surrender 2 now.....whomever...I will enjoy it....I won't love him though I say I only lay with those I love...its only true so far.....
And I still love him
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
a year ago
Sunday, July 20, 2008
LALAla!
DONT ASK!
well mylife USED 2 be like a movie....now itz just a SAD as SOnG....a LOVE SONG
BLACK MAN SAVE ME!!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Time.
yeaaa he still didnt call me....
but i know its not bcus he dont want to
he's scared....hes always scared and shy and nervous
he is really not who i thought...lol it's kinda funny now. I use to be in love with him, like seriously. Now that I was intimate with him i'm kinda lost. Like really lost. My feelings are not as strong because it took so much energy for me to get him. I always get what I ask for and I got it. I never kicked it with him solo and when I got the opportunity I did. He is alot different from what I expected. He is REALLY aggressive. I feel like if I didn't want to have sex with him he would have forced me to. I really didn't have an opinion. Even though I did want it to happened, when I left my house that night I never intended on having sex with him. I just wanted to chill, then come back another day and hook up. He is really stronger than what he used to be. He lifts like hella weights now and I couldn't control him. He knew what he wanted when he called me that night, he knew. It didn't go the way I wanted. I'm a very visual person. I wanted it to be like in the movies. I wanted passion! I wanted to want him but I didn't. I did but I didn't. Never once did I think about Prince. I laid on my back while Eric was in between my legs thrusting uncontrollably. I moaned from pain not pleasure. I faked every moan and grunt. He talked the whole time. I laid there as the head board banged against his wall and he went faster and faster. He came in like 7 minutes. If that. I was probably the best he had in a while but only because I was super tight. Every man loves a new car with no miles that he can ride and take places that its never been. That's how I look at it. "i'm about to cum," he said. I wanted to cum. I wanted it to be over but at the same time I wanted it to last so I could experience my first 'big-O'.
Should I go back?
Not even I know what I will do.
I'm not attached to him in any way.
I hope he didn't think I would be a crazy virgin chick from hell that would stalk him.
No.
Not me.
I stalked him more before the sex..LOL
Only time will tell
I'm thinking about calling tomorrow..
So we will see.....
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
THAT GOOD!
ok i started to get REAALLLLY irrataed with Prince, even before Anthony filled my head up with all his crazy talk. I mean he was right though...saying that Prince was gonna start pressuring me to have sex with him but i dont know. I think its the whole thing that I dont wanna lose my virginity to him. So I stop talking to him as much but I miss him now.
Sooooo Eric and Happy is like competing now to like be with me. Well at least hook up.
As much as I like Eric...Love Eric...I feel bad really. bcus he only wants to hook up && i want more.
He even called me last night to see if I was coming out!! AHHH! OHH EMMM GEEE!
Buts its making me think differently of him. He broke up with his girl AGAIN last night. but anywayz....
Lester, some fat guy told Happy and Eric that i was having sex so Happy was telling Eric about it. Happy was saying like I been dating her for almost 2 years, she need to stop playing and hook up. But the whole time Eric was thinking in his mind that he cant go and he gotta hook up with me first! DRAMATIC! Kay!
What is a girl suppose to do. I'm like inlove with Eric && i wonder from time to time if he even likes me. I mean more than just the sex....(that I probably will end up giving him)
Im so weak!
&& like 2 weeks ago i was suppose to like hang out with Eric at his house...but i went to a wack ass party instead...&& was pissed for like a week...didnt eat or sleep && almost passed out at Wal Mart.
Antony told me that i was inlove with Eric!! like How pysic!!!!!
ok i was like totally paranoid!!
like yesterday I kept itching (yea action parts)
Im like OMG!! I havent had sex...not even oral or anything its been like a year since any constact!!
So I start looking up like symptooms && stuff...thought it was Trich...
I was about to cry lol!
But found it it was just a side affect from my meds!
So not cool!!!!
thats why
READERS ARE LEADERS!!!
:)
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Update!!
OK
Remember the crazii night and Anthony's ex-girlfriend??
well she busted his car windows out that same night. So now he's like missing all of his windows
GREAT!
I wanna kick her ass but I'm not going to feed into that.
Well me and Anthony is talking again!!
GREAT!!
I went outside with Happy last night. I love that guy. He's such a bad guy lol.
Either he doesn't know about what happened between me, Anthony and Eric or he's just playing it off real good because they all live in this neighborhood and they are all friends. {that sucks!}
Oh yea I'm really changing my name.
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?!
Well I went to the movies to see Rush Hour 3 so my phone was on silent.
I saw I had 4 missed calls all from a private caller.
I instantly thought KEISHA!
but it was a girl and this is what she said
"Bitch I found your number in my mans phone, he got all type of stuff dumb bitch he got aids and you gone die too hoe"
Well luckly I'm a VIRGIN.
but like who calls a random girl in her boyfriends phone and says he has aids and why is she even with him???
so not cool
To top it off she didnt leave her name or his
Like WTF
he could be anybody and so could I
it didnt sound like Keisha
I laughed at the whole situtaion because I have so much drama going on at once right now and its crazii.
I really wanna know who the guy is so I can know NOT to hook up with him.
This is just all to much.
And it could be anybody. A guy I never talked to that had my number for years. I told Happy I told Anthony... I dont think its them anyways but I guess i'll find out
