a year ago

Just last year this day in the morning I was lying in Eric's bed as he thrusted uncontrolably inbetween my legs.....I was in lust with him.....savoring every moment...I tasted his skin he tasted mines...I tasted his mouth he tasted mine...I like kissing him....at times I cring at the thought of him inside me because I know he loved her the way he loved me that night...a whole year...why does it feel like 2 why do I lie and say its been 2.....I want 2 see him...I'm clean but its funny how I ended up wearing the same underwear this morning as a wore last year...my thoughts are still as impure as ever but who's next...who will I surrender 2 now.....whomever...I will enjoy it....I won't love him though I say I only lay with those I love...its only true so far.....


And I still love him

Freedom. Does not exist

I don't blog as much as i used to. I wish i did though, because i like to come back and read about the stupid things that once interested me and does not exist in my life anymore. By me making this blog anonymous i have the freedom to speak exactly how i feel, without being ashamed. Freedom?

ok here's a story for you.

Its this guy, he used to message me on Myspace. We have mutual friends but I don't recall ever seeing him or meeting him in person. Well he's cute so i took interest. We really only talked about music and how he was "feeling me". So I naturally gave him my number. I mean we were talking over "MY" since forever.
He never called.

I really forgot about him. I mean he didn't make that much of an effort and I had a boyfriend at the time.. I think this was like a two year process. IDK..maybe just a year I can't remember.

So recently my friend was telling me about this guy that she's "talking" too. She was telling me that she like him..yada yada ya.

So we went to hang with him and his friends. Ok the guys she was talking about is like totally my type. Like she never date guys like him. She always go for the "gangster" guys.

So naturally he felt the same way...welll that i was his type...but wait theres more
sooo he was like checking me out or what not...Shit we were almosted dressed alike!! lol! No homo.

ok

but the lights went out and they made out..

Remember: I did think he was cute but I didn't "like" him. You know what I mean?

Next morning I had a message from that guy that used to send me messages along time ago...remember!?

ok

That was him the night before. He's the guy my friend "really likes"

Then I got a call from my OTHER friend she was telling me that he said he liked me he really wanted to talk to me and he didnt like my other friend, Ciara. He said he only known her 2 days. He wanted to talk to me.

My heart broke instantly for some reason.
I hated him
I wish he would have kept that to himself
then he kissed her???

He said he didnt kiss her she kissed him
HOW WEAK!!

sooo I started not to even read his message. But i did.
Maybe i'll post it here one day idk

but he told me he still liked me after i told him we could never be

BOYS R SO STUPID...I SWEAR

I didnt tell Ciara...for what?
Its wont change how he feels or how I feel

but maybe i should have

since she hooked up....had SEX with him within that same week!!!
WTF

Girls are whores





Where's my freedom ?

LAST NIGHT

OKK...SO I BRUNG THE NEW YEAR IN WITH BOTH OF MY BOOS LOL
HERES THE DEAL..I'M DATING THIS GUY...HIS NAME IS AIR..HE'S CUTE OR WHATEVER SUPA COOL...SO I HUNG OUT WIT HIM ONE NIGHT AND MET HIS FRIEND..CLARK RIGHT...S0 WE HAD AN INSTANTE CONNECTION I SWEAR,...U COULD ASK HIM 2.....SOOO EVERY SINCE THAT NIGHT I LIKE TOTALLY MISSED HIM AND THOUGHT ABOUT HIM EVERY TIME I RODE PASS HIS HOUSE

SOOO I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS BRINGING HIM LAST NIGHT..HE HUGGED ME AS HE CAME INTO THE DOOR..AIR DIDNT
SOOO WE WAS ALL CHILLIN HE HAD GOOGLY EYES FOR ME LOL
AS THE NIGHT GOT OLDER...WE DRANK...HE KEEP TOUCHING ME AND SHIIIT
IM LIKE OH WOW
SO THE MAIN THINGS THAT HAPPENED...WELL HE SAID IMMA A PLAYA HE COULD TELL BY MY EAR RINGS..LOL
AND HE TOOK MY SHOES OFF GAVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE...LEG UP REMIND YOU I HAD ON A SUPER DUPER SHORT SKIRT...NO PROB THO HAD ON BETSY JOHNSON TIGHTS :)
SOOOO I WAS LAYING IN AIR'S ARMS THE WHOLE TIME..HE KEPT CRACKING JOKES
SO WE TALKED HE FLIRTED
THEN THEY WERE LEAVING...OH HE WATCHED ME
THEY HAD MY PHONE..IDK HOW..SO THEY CLARK BRUNG IT BAQ..I WENT TO THE DOOR...HE ASKED "WHERE YO COAT AT"
SO WE STOOD ON THE STAIRS AND TALKED
CLOSE FACE TO FACE BOTH DRUNK.....
SO AS AIR SAT IN THE CAR....ME AND CLARK WENT INTO THE KITCHEN AND TALKED TO MY FRIENDS...SO CONVO WENT SOMEWHERE ELSE...HE WAS TALKING ABOUT DONT TALK TO BULLSHIT GUYS...BASICLLY...SO NEXT THING THAT I KNOW HE HAD ME ON THE KITCHEN TABLE...LEGS UP HE WAS IN BETWEEN THEM..OMG

SO WHEN WE LEFT WE WERE GETTING IN THE CAR AIR WAS GETTING IN THE BACK SET SO I CAN SIT WIT HIM AND CLARK JUST KEPT TRYING TO GET ME TO SIT NEXT TO HIM..."SIT HERE...BROOKE SIT HERE" BUT I SAT IN THE BACK

SO GOT TO HIS PLACE I SWEPT HIS FLOORS LOL

I ASKED FOR HIS CAR KEY...HE GAVE MY A LITTLE ENVELOPE..IM LIKE "WHATS THIS"
HE SAID "ITS A KEY..SINCE YOU KNOW THE WAY NOW...YOU CAN COME BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT TO"
"GOOD ONE!"
"i KNOW YOU LIKED THAT RIGHT