College Cry Baby

How could this happen to me now?

I got on the computer to check my loan status. School starts in two weeks and I'm still not registered for class. I was waiting on my loan.
I wasnt apporved. This is the third time I tried to apply and I thought with the co signer I had I would get the loan.
I sat in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, crying asking why, when I want to be in school soooo bad. I would still be in the bathroom right now if my little sister didnt come knocking at the door. This is sooo stressful. My parents want me in school but they are not supporting me finacialy. They say the dont have the money. Finacail aid didnt give me much. I guess my mom makes to much. I cried. I cried and I meant it. I really wish I could go to school this semester. I would like to think that God has something better in store for me but thats the same thing I thought the last semester I took off. Its meant for me to be in school I know it. What else am I suppose to do with my life if not school?
College is very expensive. Tooo expensive for no reason really. I just really wanna go back. My major is Journalism. Yeaa I like to write. It just hurts soo bad when you cant get something you want. Some kids wish they never had to go to school and here I am begging to go. All I need is a reason for this happening. A lesson. I dont know. Now my eyes are burning for crying soo hard. My plan is to hide. Stay locked up in this house. Study nothing. Whats my next move? I wish I knew. I guess its just not for everyone. I went 1 semester and it just seems like its not meant for me to go back but now my heart is hurt because I wanna go to school sooo bad.

:(